“Banished.”
Go to your room. I don’t want to see you until you have everything sorted out and you are ready to be nice again. Then you can come back and we can talk.
“Banished.”
This is the word that runs through my mind as I send my husband away. I don’t do it purposefully, ofcourse not. But I do it with my body language, my actions, my eyes.
I don’t even have to tell him- he just knows.
Marriage provides endless moments of forgiveness. The funny things is, the more comfortable you get with one another, the more you grow in your love, the more opportunities that come to offer forgiveness.
Banishing says nothing about maturity, but it does speak about my immaturity. I have learned to grow up over the past six months of marriage.
In my attempt to get even with my husband, I only end up doing more damage. Although I would like to argue, “But I felt hurt,” or “He deserved it!” I know better. The unfortunate thing about marriage is you can never point fingers.
There are always two people to blame.
Unforgiveness always feels better, but it comes at a price. You put yourself in a jail- and you pay the price.
I’d like to think I am “banishing” my husband, but in all actuality, I am locking myself away.
Instead of thinking I am punishing my husband, I am really punishing myself. I am starving myself of the ultimate joy and freedom of forgiveness. I am holding on to it, keeping myself in what seems like a prison. Unforgiveness breeds its heaviness into my heart. It breaths lies over my life. I am captured by the spirit of unforgiveness. It locks me away. It takes me to a world of anger and selfishness. In the meantime, my husband, is free to enjoy himself, go on with his life, with little knowledge of the fact that I am truly the one suffering inside.
Forgiveness unlocks the prison doors that we put around ourselves when we hold onto perceived hurts and offenses. In a marriage, it sets us free to enjoy our husband and our marriage. It speaks of our maturity and our willingness to grow and change.
Forgiveness takes the keys of the prison and throws them out the window and over a cliff. It says marriage is too precious, too valuable.
As we open the door to forgiveness, we free ourselves to love and be loved. To become strong women who take our husband’s hands, rather than send them away. It takes responsibility for the pain we cause. Forgiveness says I will love no matter what. It is the door to healing, and better communication. It says I want another chance.
Unforgiveness is not an option in marriage. It’s a door that you never want to open.
Although you may simply peek inside the door of unforgiveness, if you give it time, it will consume you.
What once started out as simple disagreement about doing the dishes, may have you sleeping on opposite sides of the house.
So before you walk out the door today with your list of things to-do… Make sure the door of forgiveness is open wide in your heart. Ask God to help you be a woman who always walks through the door of forgiveness, whether in marriage or in daily life.
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