To-Do #15: Bring Him the Whole Package!

 “Floating heads.” With just two words, this phrase caught me off guard. I could not read any further in the article. My mind began to fill with images of the days when I sat shivering in front of the heater, while a heavy blanket of insecurity covered my inner and outer beauty from me. The mirror revealed my destiny- I had to keep trying. I was still not whole. I squirmed in my chair as my thoughts took me back to a place when I was desperately seeking fulfillment- in all the wrong places.
It was a place where the groans of an empty stomach were more appetizing than the laughter of a confident heart. I had exchanged the delight of being a vibrant confident woman, for being a” floating head.” Not exactly the bargain I intended to make, nor what I aspired to be in life. 

Happiness. Health. Wholeness. These were foreign concepts to a girl who had become an expert at denial. Although an eating disorder left me nibbling the crumbs of cake, I was also taking meager servings of life. Life was a single scene running over in my mind- how to stay thin. 

I did not need a doctor or a psychiatrist to tell me the prognosis- I was dying on the outside and the inside. The thought of never being able to have children crossed my mind on occasion, but it was not enough motivation to make me want to gain weight. The realization that this obsession was sabotaging every relationship in my life had the strength of a flickering light; its impact was too weak for me to want healing. 

My femininity was dissolving quickly. Taking with it my health, happiness, and wholeness. I never wanted to return to that place again. 

The article I was reading this past week titled, “National Obsession,” by Counseling Today, got me thinking about my past, as well as many other women who struggle in this area of body image.  Its contents laid bare the gruesome details and statistics of eating disorders that are now common place in today’s society.  Women are willingly sacrificing their innate beauty for a plastic shell of superficiality. 

Perhaps even worse was this- starting in the first grade, young girls were already being awakened to their weight and appearance. Their carefree childhood snatched away amidst the fears of gaining weight and becoming fat. 

But the two words in the middle of the article had the most impact on me.   

A counselor spoke of how she called her eating disorder clients, “floating heads.” She continued, “They are so disconnected with their own bodies, they don't even recognize body sensations, and if they do recognize body sensations, they automatically interpret them as 'something is wrong’.”

A wave of sadness rushed over me. I exhaled with a heavy sigh. 

Floating heads. I whispered it again to myself. These two words made me cringe because I knew they described the fate of many women today. One honest young woman wrote the following words to me, in regards to how she perceives herself, “I'm not in a place where I have a healthy self-image at all. There was a time when I did, and I know I will get there at some point again, but God is working hard on me in this area, and Satan is trying even harder.”

Unfortunately this is true for many women, the enemy is trying his best to get us to subscribe to a destructive diet that tells us to hunt for wholeness outside of Christ, in appearances, exercise, careers, activities, relationship, food…you can fill in the blank. As a result we become satisfied with temporary fulfillment, and we are left skimping out on real life. Living in wholeness is a distant dream, a floating head is our reality. 

Although popular, beware of this deadly diet! It amounts to nothing but…

Physical sickness. Relational emptiness. Spiritual dryness. Emotional exhaustion. Sexual insecurity. 

Do you realize that your wholeness comes from Christ alone? We become beautiful women as we shamelessly indulge in the abundant life that God has given us.

When I finally had this revelation I began leaping up and down my hallway exclaiming, “I am a woman!”  (When was the last time you did that?!) 

Contrary to being an overly exuberant and outspoken feminist, I was simply declaring that I was fully alive. God had shown me the emptiness of trying to find wholeness and femininity in the fleeting fads of the world. I was finally taking big bites of life. 

More than just a head out of touch with the rest of my body, I became a whole woman. Body, soul, and spirit. No longer floating around without purpose, I became securely grounded in the truth. (Ephesians 3:19) 

Physically strong. Relationally fulfilled. Spiritually alive. Emotionally stable. Sexually confident. 

This is a revelation worth tasting for yourselves!  It is sweeter than chocolate because it will also melt over into our marriage. So… can you remember when you consciously took an oversized portion of life? Has it been awhile since you have savored and enjoyed your marriage? 

A singing soul and energetic spirit brings more vitality to our marriage than our physical appearance or lame endeavors to find wholeness ever will. (Proverbs 31:30) 

Instead of constantly taking from our husbands, thinking they can fill what is lacking in our lives, we can be fulfilled women, who confidently give ourselves without restraint to our husband- emotionally, spiritually, and physically. 

Our husbands will be overjoyed to know that we are not ashamed to be a woman, boldly asking for second helpings of the life God has given us. Intimacy with our true love will be revitalized, and furious love making sessions will ensue when we are a happy, healthy, and whole woman. Besides, this is way more attractive than the national obsession of being a floating head!

Would you characterize yourself as happy, healthy, and whole?

Are you taking meager servings of life- do you need God to take you off this diet so that you can celebrate your femininity and your marriage?

 This post was also featured on Shannon Ethridge's Sexually Confident Wife Blog.