My husband is my best friend. Since moving to South Africa, I have relied on my husband for everything. In a new country, with new friends, a new language, a new culture, I don’t know what I would do without Him. I want Him to be there for me all the time, in every way, and most importantly never ever let me down. The expectations I have placed on my husband are so high, that it is impossible for him to measure up to them all.
Surrender would mean letting him be free from my expectations. Releasing him from the pressure I know he feels, to please me and make sure I’m happy all the time. He has gone above and beyond my expectations in loving me and caring for me, but I want to do the same. Although emotionally, I don’t feel that I can do this, I know I need to…
I need to surrender my husband.
This is the deepest love I can show him. A love that says, “I trust God with your life. I know He will take care of both of us.” This kind of love does not come naturally for me, but the other night God flooded my heart with this love.
As I received God’s words speaking over me, “Let him go…” I, in turn, wrote these words,
sorry for making you hurt
i feel like it’s all i do
i wish i could make it better
and make all things new
i know God will heal us
forgive us, change us, renew us
he will grow our marriage stronger
even when we fail Him
i love you so much Michal
in all i say i do I desperately want you to see
that you are the only one for me
im setting you free tonight
giving you to God
I am not placing my expectation in you
but only in my Rock
you are free to do as you please
to enjoy what makes you smile
don't ever worry that I won't be okay
cause I’m learning who i trust
even when we are seperate
i know that i am always welcomed back
into your arms
which by the way is the great place in all the world
besides heaven ofcourse
but to be held by you and loved by you
is the best feeling i've ever felt
i love you so much
Tearfully, I read this poem to my husband. I knew that this was a turning point in our marriage. This only happened a few weeks ago, but since then I have had to make a conscious decision everyday to surrender him… again and again and again.
He does not have to know I am doing this, I only want him to feel it and see it, by the way I am treating him.
The thing that is most dear to us is always the most difficult to give over to God. And for me, at this point in my life, that is my husband.
I have heard from many young women, engaged and married, that surrendering our husbands is extremely difficult. We consciously and unconsciously cling to them for identity, support, encouragement, advice, and love. We do this because we love them so much. This is the way God made us as women. But it does not stop there.
Our love also needs to go a step further into the realm of surrender. I am learning that more than a one- time prayer to God,
“Lord, I surrender my husband,”
surrender, is also constant and conscious act of grace everyday of our lives.
Surrender, from my perspective is more than giving up, it actually signifies gain, for both you and your husband.
You both gain…
greater trust and reliance on God.
more intimacy with one another.
more freedom to be yourselves.
healthier and more stable marriage.
Surrender is NOT saying “I can do this life on my own, I don’t need you anymore!”
Rather, surrender IS saying, “We are both imperfect and therefore cannot rely on each other all the time. We must keep God as the center or we will never make it.”
Surrendering our husbands, gives God the freedom He needs to work in our individual lives and in our marriage.
So what are you waiting for… Let him go!
In what ways have you been trying to control your husband or husband-to-be?
Rather than wait until after you big day to do this, go before God now and surrender your husband completely to Him… Besides he is better off in God’s hands than in yours!
Charissa I love reading your blogs...this one brings tears to my eyes cause how full of truth it is! How desperatly I need rememberance of this in my own life and how many woman suffer because they don't learn this lesson and how many husbands trully feel over whelmed and incompentent because their wives have not surrendered them! I love you dearly my friend and can't wait to see you agian!
ReplyDeleteSarah
Hi there,
ReplyDeleteThis is something I struggled with too and I recently learned just like you that God loves him more than me and he is better off in God's hands than in mine. Thanks for sharing.