Amazing Wife...Who? Me?

My husband gave me an award once.

Stars bordered the bold letters in the middle which read, “To The Most Amazing Girl in My Universe…Thank you for being the best girl, girlfriend, fiancé, and wife I could ever ask for!”

He presented my certificate to me on my birthday, a few weeks before our wedding. Over a year has passed now and I still have it hanging on the inside of my closet door. Sometimes I look at it and sigh, realizing that I am anything but the most amazing wife. However most of the time it is a reminder to me of what I am to my husband.

What I am to him is what matters most.

Comparing the way I cook, dress, or decorate our house to other women is never going to make me feel like I am measuring up. I am simple girl. I can eat tuna and noodles over candlelight, or even an elegant bowl of cereal for dinner. I also like being comfortable. So sometimes sweatpants around the house and even to the grocery store are okay with me! And my house, well, all of its furnishings have been given to me. Everything besides the pictures on my wall has been a gift. My house is literally adorned in grace.

And so is my life...adorned in grace. I guess, at the end of the day, this is what actually classifies me as the The Most Amazing Girl to my husband. I am a woman of grace, and that is amazing to him.

I don’t confess to have it all together. I definitely made some obvious mistakes. I’ve had quite a few emotional melt downs. Not to mention how many times I’ve let him down or how many times I’ve hurt him with my actions and words. I stand in grace, not in perfection. Striving to be the woman God has called me to be, but definitely not there yet.

It’s on those I-feel-blah-days in particular when I still can look at that award in my closet and with confidence say, “In my husband’s eyes I am still the most amazing girl.” He doesn’t compare me to anyone else, even if I get jealous of other women’s personalities, style of clothes, or ability to decorate. He takes me as I am-the simplicities and complexities. Actually, my husband didn’t just give me that award a couple years ago, he gives it to me every day in the way he looks at me, talks to me, and loves me.

A woman of grace. That is what makes the most amazing girl, the most amazing wife.

Give your husband an award too- don’t compare yourself to other women. You are not like anyone else in the world. God has given you the grace to be who He has called you to be- your looks, personality, talents, and appearance are all from Him. And you, by grace, can be “The Most Amazing Girl in Your Husband’s Universe.”

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” Proverbs 31:30-31

What I Got on Valentine's Day...

To find out, click over to She Just Got Married's blog!

Don't worry... it was good ;)

Plan It Like A Party ;-)

As I was skimming back over some marriage books the other day, preparing them to give to a newly engaged friend, I couldn’t help but notice a statement I had ignorantly underlined. I laughed to my husband, “Sweetie you won’t believe what I underlined and even put a question mark by in this book!”

To my shock the author of the book boldly declared,

“Make sure to plan sex…”


This little one-liner was devastating when I first read it- Put sex in the schedule… are you serious? I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. My heart fluttered just thinking about the marriage night and the romance we would share in for the rest of our lives together. But in just a few words my paradise was popped! Now they, the supposed experts, were telling me I had to plan sex like it was a dentist appointment!

Was this guy crazy? I thought of all possible explanations. Maybe his life was really crammed full? Maybe His marriage was suffering? Maybe sex wasn’t really his thing? Or maybe he might just be one of those freaky planner people like myself?

Nevertheless, his alarming statement still caused my blissful state of dreaming to come to a halt. Up until that point, I had thought sex was a spontaneous expression of marital love and commitment.But now he was making it sound more like duty than desire.

At the moment, I thought he was in the wrong, not me the newly engaged woman.


I knew marriage took work, but at the time I did not know that even the fun stuff in marriage, like sex, would be a chore too! What a way to spoil my pre-wedding bliss!

Fast forward a year and a half and I not only kind of agree with the author but I wholeheartedly agree his outrageous statement - plan sex! Thankfully I am not on cloud nine anymore. I’ve realized that life happens and it happens fast. Before you know it, Monday is already here again. Even without me having a full time job and despite having any children, sex can still easily become very low on the priority list. If you don’t at least plan it a few hours or days in advance, us as women especially, will wear ourselves out during the course of a day and come “play time” we are pooped!

But I encourage you not to think of planning sex like any other appointments you normally make. How sad if sex becomes something clinical and sterile. Rather than making sex formal, planning actually makes it more fun! As the day goes by your excitement only builds!

I know it may sound strange to hear, as it did to me a couple years ago, but I encourage you newly married women to get in the habit of planning some steamy love sessions with your hubby! And if you are far from your honeymoon night… that’s great! It means you have more time to put this into practice {and I don’t mean practicing sex!} but in making “you-me” time deliberate instead of leaving it to just a coincidence.

Not that you will have to plan sex all the time, but let’s be honest, we organize vacations, we arrange for parties, and we think about our weekends, why not put some of that planning expertise into making time for our best friend.

What do you think?

From my heart to yours,

Charissa

Got Whip Cream & Sprinkles?

Join me over at She Just Got Married site today!

I'm writing about another marriage experience. Here's a peak...

Whip cream and sprinkles aren't just what you put on ice cream.

As we snuggled up together after a full day of work, activities, friends, and not to mention a fresh cup of jet lag, my husband and I seemed to melt into each other's arms. We cherished the moment. Even though we were alone in bed, we whispered. We giggled. We embraced.

For the first time in our newly married life, we turned our weariness into a time of loveliness.

Read the rest over here...

I Want To Fight!

As we headed out the driveway for the start of our little adventure to the coast for a long weekend my husband optimistically declared,

"I don't want to fight on this trip. I want us to just have fun, love each other, and forgive."

 To find out what actually unfolded join me here!

Happy Fighting, 

Charissa ;)

THE TOP TEN!

This year has been the biggest learning curve of my life! I thought I was prepared for this thing called marriage!  However, when I look close, I realize the life-changing principles I have discovered outweigh all the challenges, tears, and setbacks.

So here it goes...

The Top 10 Things I Learned in My First Year of Marriage

#10: I worry way too much about my appearance!

# 9:  My husband eats at least three to four times more than I do!

# 8:  Protein (man food!) must be included in every single meal.

# 7:  My communication skills are just plain horrible! I never knew I could speak another language;)

# 6:  I love hugs and kisses! (coming from a former no-touchy kind of girl)

# 5:  I did not realize how passionately God loves me! Really God? You are that crazy in love with me?  (My hubby demonstrates this to me everyday.)

# 4: Treat him gently...My husband needs lots of love and tender care.

# 3: I am not the selfless, compassionate person I always thought I was...marriage is accelerating my journey to become more like Jesus!

# 2: Becoming one with my husband does not always mean our marriage is full of bouquets of flowers and chocolate, but loads of hard-work and forgiveness. Bummer!

# 1: However, marriage has helped me to discover God's best and most fun activity He ever created! ;)

If we lose our ability to remain teachable and flexible in our marriage, soft and lovable hearts can easily turn cold and hard. 

So now it's your turn...
What are you expecting to learn in marriage?

He's So Forgetful!!

Please join me over at She Just Got Married today! I am writing about yet another fun truth I am trying to swallow when it comes to marriage!  The learning never stops!

I hope all of you are encouraged to love your man in a deeper way today.

Here's how it begins...

I normally don't go a day without hearing these phrases,

 "Do you know where my wallet is?"

                       "Have you seen my sunglasses?"

                                                "Where are the keys?"

I feel like I would have more compassion if it was my grandma. But  no- this is my husband I am talking about.  My genius husband sometimes  reminds me of Einstein. I have heard it said that he could not even find  his way home from the laboratory. Similarly, my husband is  consistently loosing track of everything from car keys and credit cards  to sunglasses and sweat jackets.

I have studied this phenomenon over the past year of marriage. I could have been a millionaire by now if I charged for all the times he's started a sentence with, "Do you know where..."

Fortunately, nothing has ever been truly lost, most of the time something has simply been misplaced or overlooked by my man's eyes. By now, I am sure many women can relate!


Pick up the rest over at She Just Got Married!