Beating up the Devil!

The below post was featured on Shannon Ethridge's Blog. Whether you are doing spiritual warfare for your marriage, family, or personal struggles- I pray it inspires you!

I beat up the devil today when I went running. Yep I did! I am sure the neighbors might have heard me roaring like a hungry lion and shouting like a girly girl.With every step I pounded him into the ground. I did angry air punches and kicks making sure he knew I was tired of the ways he brings destruction and deception into our lives.I wholloped him in the belly and slapped him up-side the head. As I stormed up the hills and through my streets, I could feel him wanting to take the wind out of my sails and make me give up.

He wanted victory. Never!

I will not stay down. 
  
He cannot keep attacking me with hopeless thoughts. His tactics are old and outdated, boring and uncreative. I am not stupid. I know how he works. I will not fall for his slimy subtleness. I will not be a victim to his dirty tricks. He is a liar and that is the only language he knows!

I often combine spiritual warfare with running. They go nicely together- adrenaline and prayers bring out the warrior in me! When I run I feel strong and victorious. I am more aware of the resurrection power running through my veins. I can sense the Holy Spirit filling me with physical and spiritual strength to fight the good fight and not look back. My heart beats loudly to the rhythms of grace. I know who I am. I know who I was made to be. My lungs take in the fresh morning air and I feel alive and free, the way I was created to be. 

As I battle in the spirit, I recognize there is someone else running ahead of me, crushing every obstacle. My air punches and ninja kicks are just another sign that the devil has been defeated. Jesus has paved the way for my victory already on the cross.  

I am merely just running to remind the devil that he stinks worse than the sweat under my arm pits!  

As he scours a way with his tails between his legs I breathe a sigh of relief. The power that is in me is greater than he who is in this world. He can’t stand under the power of the cross. Jesus Christ has run the race, fought the fight, stepped on the head of the devil already. Everyday I am merely re-inforcing my victory!

My tears mix with sweat sometimes, but that’s okay because through my tears I drown out the voices of defeat and wipe away the doubt. They wash through my soul, cleansing me from fear and worry. My tears help me to see clearly – Jesus fights for me. He is on my side.

So no matter what may come… And stuff is coming, I stand firm in my identity. I will hold tight to my faith. I will run victory laps everyday. 

The big Jesus in us makes us victorious over the devil’s tiny attempts to trip us up and knock us out of the race. 

Stay strong fellow runners!!

Our Saturday....

SURPRISE!!! When was the last time you shouted those words or even whispered those words in your hubby’s ear?

These past couple weeks I’ve been wanting my husband to do something for me. Surprise me with something I love…anything really… flowers, chocolate, breakfast in bed, or a romantic picnic at the park. Don’t get me wrong, I know my husband loves me. He shows me all the time- His words, hugs, and even doing the dishes {which is one of my love languages!}

But lately, I’ve had such a craving for a special surprise. Our weekends have been packed full of family and friends and week nights we are always out with people or at church, or just needing to rest. Our date nights are pretty non-existent unless you count getting sushi from the local grocery store and eating on the couch together, or drinking hot chocolate and doing our budget.

Anyways you get my point…I need a fun-filled day with just my hubby and I. It’s been a week now since I told my husband, “I would really love a surprise…like flowers or chocolate…anything.” Can you believe I actually hinted that I wanted a surprise? Doesn’t that kind of ruin the whole concept!

But the SURPRISE isn’t that it actually happened, the surprise is…I’ve decided to prepare the surprise! Instead of for me, it’s going to be for him. Not based on what I would love, but on what he would love {and luckily we do enjoy a lot of the same things}.

So this Saturday morning, before he even opens his eyes, there will be a little love note tucked beside his pillow, and on it will read,

“Just because I love you!! This day is full of little surprises just for you. Thank you for loving me, caring for me, and being my best friend.”

Throughout the day I am scattering little surprises… like pancakes in the morning, picnic at the botanical gardens, and a movie in the evening. I’m not going all out, I’m basically using what we have around the house. Homemade pancakes for breakfast and peanut butter and jellies for picnic lunch are simple, cheap, and yummy. Throw in a couple candy bars for the movie and then wrap it all in surprises and you’ve got yourself a romantic, fun, and restful day with hubby.

After a year and a half of marriage, I’m noticing it’s already easy to get in a rut with each other. So take time to spice up your relationship. It doesn’t have to be costly, but it can definitely be creative!

I’m learning that I don’t have to wait or get frustrated because I’m not feeling loved. The best way to feel truly loved is to give it out- in large doses.  So don’t wait to wait for hubby to act, don’t even give yourself time to think about being bitter or upset for the lack of romance in your marriage…take action!

Be the first to sprinkle some creativity amongst the two of you- whether you whisper it in his ear, tell him on the phone, or write him a message,

“Surprise…I’ve got a little something prepared for the two of us…”

Take delight in surprising your husband with love!

Amazing Wife...Who? Me?

My husband gave me an award once.

Stars bordered the bold letters in the middle which read, “To The Most Amazing Girl in My Universe…Thank you for being the best girl, girlfriend, fiancé, and wife I could ever ask for!”

He presented my certificate to me on my birthday, a few weeks before our wedding. Over a year has passed now and I still have it hanging on the inside of my closet door. Sometimes I look at it and sigh, realizing that I am anything but the most amazing wife. However most of the time it is a reminder to me of what I am to my husband.

What I am to him is what matters most.

Comparing the way I cook, dress, or decorate our house to other women is never going to make me feel like I am measuring up. I am simple girl. I can eat tuna and noodles over candlelight, or even an elegant bowl of cereal for dinner. I also like being comfortable. So sometimes sweatpants around the house and even to the grocery store are okay with me! And my house, well, all of its furnishings have been given to me. Everything besides the pictures on my wall has been a gift. My house is literally adorned in grace.

And so is my life...adorned in grace. I guess, at the end of the day, this is what actually classifies me as the The Most Amazing Girl to my husband. I am a woman of grace, and that is amazing to him.

I don’t confess to have it all together. I definitely made some obvious mistakes. I’ve had quite a few emotional melt downs. Not to mention how many times I’ve let him down or how many times I’ve hurt him with my actions and words. I stand in grace, not in perfection. Striving to be the woman God has called me to be, but definitely not there yet.

It’s on those I-feel-blah-days in particular when I still can look at that award in my closet and with confidence say, “In my husband’s eyes I am still the most amazing girl.” He doesn’t compare me to anyone else, even if I get jealous of other women’s personalities, style of clothes, or ability to decorate. He takes me as I am-the simplicities and complexities. Actually, my husband didn’t just give me that award a couple years ago, he gives it to me every day in the way he looks at me, talks to me, and loves me.

A woman of grace. That is what makes the most amazing girl, the most amazing wife.

Give your husband an award too- don’t compare yourself to other women. You are not like anyone else in the world. God has given you the grace to be who He has called you to be- your looks, personality, talents, and appearance are all from Him. And you, by grace, can be “The Most Amazing Girl in Your Husband’s Universe.”

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” Proverbs 31:30-31

What I Got on Valentine's Day...

To find out, click over to She Just Got Married's blog!

Don't worry... it was good ;)

Plan It Like A Party ;-)

As I was skimming back over some marriage books the other day, preparing them to give to a newly engaged friend, I couldn’t help but notice a statement I had ignorantly underlined. I laughed to my husband, “Sweetie you won’t believe what I underlined and even put a question mark by in this book!”

To my shock the author of the book boldly declared,

“Make sure to plan sex…”


This little one-liner was devastating when I first read it- Put sex in the schedule… are you serious? I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. My heart fluttered just thinking about the marriage night and the romance we would share in for the rest of our lives together. But in just a few words my paradise was popped! Now they, the supposed experts, were telling me I had to plan sex like it was a dentist appointment!

Was this guy crazy? I thought of all possible explanations. Maybe his life was really crammed full? Maybe His marriage was suffering? Maybe sex wasn’t really his thing? Or maybe he might just be one of those freaky planner people like myself?

Nevertheless, his alarming statement still caused my blissful state of dreaming to come to a halt. Up until that point, I had thought sex was a spontaneous expression of marital love and commitment.But now he was making it sound more like duty than desire.

At the moment, I thought he was in the wrong, not me the newly engaged woman.


I knew marriage took work, but at the time I did not know that even the fun stuff in marriage, like sex, would be a chore too! What a way to spoil my pre-wedding bliss!

Fast forward a year and a half and I not only kind of agree with the author but I wholeheartedly agree his outrageous statement - plan sex! Thankfully I am not on cloud nine anymore. I’ve realized that life happens and it happens fast. Before you know it, Monday is already here again. Even without me having a full time job and despite having any children, sex can still easily become very low on the priority list. If you don’t at least plan it a few hours or days in advance, us as women especially, will wear ourselves out during the course of a day and come “play time” we are pooped!

But I encourage you not to think of planning sex like any other appointments you normally make. How sad if sex becomes something clinical and sterile. Rather than making sex formal, planning actually makes it more fun! As the day goes by your excitement only builds!

I know it may sound strange to hear, as it did to me a couple years ago, but I encourage you newly married women to get in the habit of planning some steamy love sessions with your hubby! And if you are far from your honeymoon night… that’s great! It means you have more time to put this into practice {and I don’t mean practicing sex!} but in making “you-me” time deliberate instead of leaving it to just a coincidence.

Not that you will have to plan sex all the time, but let’s be honest, we organize vacations, we arrange for parties, and we think about our weekends, why not put some of that planning expertise into making time for our best friend.

What do you think?

From my heart to yours,

Charissa

Got Whip Cream & Sprinkles?

Join me over at She Just Got Married site today!

I'm writing about another marriage experience. Here's a peak...

Whip cream and sprinkles aren't just what you put on ice cream.

As we snuggled up together after a full day of work, activities, friends, and not to mention a fresh cup of jet lag, my husband and I seemed to melt into each other's arms. We cherished the moment. Even though we were alone in bed, we whispered. We giggled. We embraced.

For the first time in our newly married life, we turned our weariness into a time of loveliness.

Read the rest over here...

I Want To Fight!

As we headed out the driveway for the start of our little adventure to the coast for a long weekend my husband optimistically declared,

"I don't want to fight on this trip. I want us to just have fun, love each other, and forgive."

 To find out what actually unfolded join me here!

Happy Fighting, 

Charissa ;)

THE TOP TEN!

This year has been the biggest learning curve of my life! I thought I was prepared for this thing called marriage!  However, when I look close, I realize the life-changing principles I have discovered outweigh all the challenges, tears, and setbacks.

So here it goes...

The Top 10 Things I Learned in My First Year of Marriage

#10: I worry way too much about my appearance!

# 9:  My husband eats at least three to four times more than I do!

# 8:  Protein (man food!) must be included in every single meal.

# 7:  My communication skills are just plain horrible! I never knew I could speak another language;)

# 6:  I love hugs and kisses! (coming from a former no-touchy kind of girl)

# 5:  I did not realize how passionately God loves me! Really God? You are that crazy in love with me?  (My hubby demonstrates this to me everyday.)

# 4: Treat him gently...My husband needs lots of love and tender care.

# 3: I am not the selfless, compassionate person I always thought I was...marriage is accelerating my journey to become more like Jesus!

# 2: Becoming one with my husband does not always mean our marriage is full of bouquets of flowers and chocolate, but loads of hard-work and forgiveness. Bummer!

# 1: However, marriage has helped me to discover God's best and most fun activity He ever created! ;)

If we lose our ability to remain teachable and flexible in our marriage, soft and lovable hearts can easily turn cold and hard. 

So now it's your turn...
What are you expecting to learn in marriage?

He's So Forgetful!!

Please join me over at She Just Got Married today! I am writing about yet another fun truth I am trying to swallow when it comes to marriage!  The learning never stops!

I hope all of you are encouraged to love your man in a deeper way today.

Here's how it begins...

I normally don't go a day without hearing these phrases,

 "Do you know where my wallet is?"

                       "Have you seen my sunglasses?"

                                                "Where are the keys?"

I feel like I would have more compassion if it was my grandma. But  no- this is my husband I am talking about.  My genius husband sometimes  reminds me of Einstein. I have heard it said that he could not even find  his way home from the laboratory. Similarly, my husband is  consistently loosing track of everything from car keys and credit cards  to sunglasses and sweat jackets.

I have studied this phenomenon over the past year of marriage. I could have been a millionaire by now if I charged for all the times he's started a sentence with, "Do you know where..."

Fortunately, nothing has ever been truly lost, most of the time something has simply been misplaced or overlooked by my man's eyes. By now, I am sure many women can relate!


Pick up the rest over at She Just Got Married!

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Today I have the honor of writing on Shannon Ethridge's Sexually Confident Wife Blog! 

Here's a little peek...

When I look in the mirror, I always lean in for a close-up. I am  discontent with the distance between me and that piece of glass. I want  to see details of my skin, please! Every pore. Blemish. Stray hair. 

The closer I get to the mirror, the more clearly I can hear its lies.
Look at those eyebrows…so dark and bushy. What about those little  hairs on your chin…how disgusting. And those wrinkles under your eyes…  your skin is getting old. And don’t forget those little red dots on your  face… blemishes are so ugly. 

Slowly, I begin to pick at every nook and cranny of my skin.  Inevitably, my five minutes in the bathroom to simply wash my face and  brush my teeth turns into fifteen minutes of surgery on my skin!  My  refreshing nightly ritual is easily ruined as I allow the mirror to  speak negativity into my life. As a result, all I want to do is jump  into bed for fear that someone might see my embarrassing home facial  job, my poor attempt to fix the flaws.

To read the rest click on over here!

Sexually Confident Wife Blog

Do You Feel Like Cinderella?

Hi Ladies!

I am not here, but here today! 

Here's a sneak peak...

I love my husband so much it hurts. 

Like today when I dropped him off at the airport. It's never easy to say goodbye to my best friend. We are on a journey of becoming one. When he's gone I limp and hobble for a few days, before I remember what it's like to be on my own again. Love hurts.  I was fine as a single, but now.... I don't know what to do for a weekend without him!

But for me, there is something that makes love hurt even more...

Join me over at She Just Got Married to find out the rest!

To- Do #21: Forget the Strike!

Sometimes I want to make a sign, put it on a stick, and stand outside my house, pacing back and forth, shouting, “No more laundry…no more food… I want more love and fun times too!” 

I want to go on a marriage strike! 

To be quite honest, sometimes I want to a little break from being married, from the responsibility of being a wife, taking care of our home, and from always having to consider my husband when making decisions. I want to independent and alone. Free to do whatever I please. 

A marriage strike would be my way to get my husband to take notice of all that I do for him. It would give me space to speak my heart, freely complain, and get the last word of an argument. I would have the liberty to be selfish and stingy. I can just think about myself, demand my own way, and consider only my needs. 

{I can’t believe I just said all that. I am cringing at the thoughts I sometimes think!}


Although I have never gone on an actual marriage strike, I have done it in my heart. There are moments where I just want to call it day, give up, and stop trying. If you have been married for any length of time you know that some days everything from communicating to intimacy takes HARD WORK; while, other times, marriage is full of roses and rainbows.


It is these times of constant tension that make most married couples want to pack up and leave. 

When my husband and I were dating and engaged there were moments where I wanted to break up, or at least just take my ring off and pretend as if I was single again…I did both! I was still clinging to my own life, where I could be selfish and moody without affecting someone else.  

Now that we are married unfortunately that hasn’t changed, except for this fact… we are in a covenant together.  Although the dirty side still comes out, when we yell at each other, hold grudges, or go to bed angry, I know that we both will never utter the words, “I quit!” 


Although divorce isn’t an option for us, a marriage strike would be a nice alternative!  A time where we can just vent, cling to our rights, and demand more love and respect.

Sure, I might look silly picketing outside my house, but I could at least feel better and get my point across more clearly.  However, it would never solve

A


N


Y


T


H


I


N


G.

I know because I have tried it. In my heart I declared, “No more laundry…no more food… I want more love and fun times too!” 

But God did not design marriage to be one-week- off, one-week-on kind of thing. It is all day, every day, for the rest of our lives. This commitment is not worth complaining about.  The hard work may be exhausting but it doesn’t do any good to moan and groan.

Hard work and commitment are actually the very two qualities that help us persevere through tense times and develop a stronger love for another.

It takes two people giving 100% to make a marriage flourish. Then the chant becomes two people in unison, “No more fighting… no more tears…  we are here to love and serve…each other!”

Before you shout the words, “I give up!” Try giving even when it’s most difficult. Try selflessness even when all you want is your own way.

  

Put the strike on hold and persevere in your covenant love towards your man!

A Little Secret...

Shhh... :) I am over here at this blog today, sharing a little secret about married life, in particular when it comes to our husband!

So to start off...

What's hard on the outside, but has a soft center? Hint: It's not a type of chocolate!

                I bet you'll never guess...

To find out the answer and a little tip for your marriage, pop on over here! Enjoy!

Freed by Love!

I'm not here... but here today!




Here's a sneak peak...

"Charissie...Do you know what?"

"What?"

He stares into my eyes with a look that only I am privileged to see, "I LOVE YOU."

A smile breaks across my face. We squeeze each other tightly, savoring the moment as if it were our first hug. Although held in his arms and wrapped in his love, my heart feels completely free.

Join me over at  She Just Got Married to read the rest!

A Real Wedding Dress.

We are honored to have my friend and newlywed wife, Laetitia King ,sharing her heart with us again! In this post she details a beautiful revelation she had about her wedding dress...  every woman can relate!

I didn’t want to take my wedding dress off! My sister warned me (after she got married) that every bride grows strangely attached to the piece of material wrapped around her body on her wedding day. Even though I only wore it for six hours, it felt as if it has been part of me all my life. Maybe it was because of all the effort that went into dreaming about it. Not that I am someone that thought of it since I was five, but when George asked me to marry him, I knew my dress had to be special. It had to be well-defined, unique, a dress that revealed my style, my taste, and made me beautiful.

In search of this perfect dress, many questions went through my mind.

If I was in a fairy tale, what would I wear...and what not?
                     Would my husband like what I choose?
         Will I make the right choice?

Luckily I knew the answer to that question long before my wedding day. I knew it the first time I saw the white ball gown in the old movie “My Fair Lady.” When I saw the dress in the movie it spoke to me.

It was a vintage dress with lace and pearls shimmering in the light. I was captivated as I watched an ordinary street lady walk down the stairs looking like a queen. The movie was my first real encounter with a make-over. Feelings of enchantment washed over me, when I saw the woman changed from an ugly duckling to a gracious swan. It was a scene worth remembering.


Every bride seems to hold her breath as she slips into her wedding dress for the first time. She gazes into the mirror. The power of the moment is overwhelming. A little girl turns into a woman, a commoner transforms into a Queen, a single woman becomes a wife! 

This is exactly what I felt when I became the wife of George King. Wow! When I saw everyone looking at me walking down the aisle, I felt like a queen. It wasn’t an unusual feeling...rather it was a very familiar feeling.

During my journey with God as a single He taught me the true value of being His bride. But when I put my wedding dress on that day, my spirit leaped within me. A new realization swept over me. I was exactly what God promised, exactly what God intended, exactly what God designed. 

But then... the time came where I had to take off the dress. It was dreadful. I felt stripped from the preciousness I felt during the wedding celebration. In just one breath, I became myself again.

A normal person.

In normal clothes.

A commoner.

A nobody.

There are many moments in life that want to strip us of our Royalty, and steal the preciousness of living. Times of anger, frustration, and confrontation often leave us feeling naked, common. Like a no-body.
Sometimes we look at our physical circumstances, and we are tempted to feel robbed. We may look at our bank account, the time we spend in traffic, our performance appraisal from our boss, or just the lack of romance in our marriage, and we wonder... who am I? We feel stripped of our crown.

Often times, we choose the wrong action. We become dissatisfied and lonely, depressed and downcast. Instead of feeling like a Queen in God’s kingdom we simply feel like a guest at a wedding.

But God has clothed us with Christ. In that powerful historic event of His crucifixion we were transformed to be a Child of God. A Queen. We can once again hold our breath, wrap ourselves in the character of Christ, and choose to put on His likeness. Our wedding dress of righteousness fits perfectly. We can be confident that we are the beautiful Bride of Jesus Christ.


What will the guests of earth say about us? Hopefully, they will be found saying...

Wow...where did you find such beautiful material? How did you manage to get all your flaws covered? How did you become so gorgeous? Who chose the material you are wearing? Why did you transform from a nobody to Royalty? 

And may your answer be...

Only those wrapped in Christ will know! 

In Christ, we get to wear a wedding dress every day and experience the same feelings we had on our wedding day! This revelation will impact our daily lives- from how we work, speak, and love our husbands. 

Have you chosen to put on this wedding dress that Jesus offers us?

Two Little Words We Need To Learn!

I am not here today, but here!

Join me as I talk about two little words I have learned in marriage that are just as important as "I'm sorry!" I won't give it away... you have to go check it out for yourself :)

Do you have His Perspective on Sex?

Growing up, although I was naïve and sheltered, I had this innate sense that sex was something very beautiful and worth waiting for until marriage. My parents never told me anything, at least nothing that I can remember. My mom and I only started talking about it only a few weeks before my wedding day.

We were driving in the car together probably on our way to pick up more wedding supplies and she asked, “Why do you need to read books on sex?” Obviously she had seen the books I was reading in my bedroom, "The Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds," and “Sheet Music.”

“There is a lot more to marriage than that… it’s only part of it. Besides, there’s only one way to do it anyways.” 

After a few minutes of awkward questions and short answers, our conversation was over. I love my mom and have always known, despite the fighting and the tears, that her and my dad were, and are, best friends.

But her words got me thinking… why did I think sex was so important? Maybe she was right… I don’t need to read anything about it. Maybe I shouldn’t be… am I sinning? Am I reading about something that is so sacred that I should only let God reveal it to me once I am married? As a bride-to-be was I making a bigger deal out of it than I should? 

However, I just knew that sex was something deeply profound, spiritual, and not to mention, exciting! I was not reading out of sheer curiosity {although I was definitely intrigued}, I was reading so that God could begin to prepare my heart, mind, and body for the lifelong commitment I was making with my husband. I guess you could say, I did not just want a diploma in marriage, but as Gary Thomas wrote in his book, "Sacred Marriage," I was working toward a PHd in my husband! 

I knew the wisdom I was searching for about sex and married life would not happen overnight. It certainly wouldn’t happen through just reading books, listening to sermons, or talking to older women. The mystery of marriage was far deeper than words could ever explain. The real lessons would begin after my husband and I said our vows, in the practical everyday experience of married life. 

However, I knew had to start letting go of all the incorrect views of sex that I had received along the years and allow God to give me His picture of it.

I asked Him to wipe away the images of my baby-sitter showing me a book on sexual positions that she had found in her parents study room. Sex was more than just pages of mechanical procedures. 

I asked him to remove the childish mindset I latched onto when my health teacher made the whole class say, “penis” out loud. Also in that same class sex I needed to erase the memories of all of us 16 year olds learning where the g-spot was on a woman… as if sex was just another casual, ordinary human function like going to the bathroom and any person at any age could handle it! 

I asked Him to help me release the shyness and extreme modesty I had that stemmed from the way my body looked. The endless years I engaged in of comparing boobs, skin, and body shape with other women. Sex stretched beyond just the physical. 

I asked him to take away the shame I felt in openly talking about sex since I never really had anyone to discuss it with besides a bunch of college girls who were naïve and nervous about it. I wanted to be able to talk to my husband about it someday, and that someday was happening soon!

I asked him to get rid of all the crude and nasty jokes I heard about sex while growing up- just going to high school and hanging around with friends. As well as all the worldly images I had laid up in mind from movies and TV. Sex was much more sacred than they made it out to be. 

Although I never had sex before I was married, it’s not to say I didn’t have my own issues to work through. There were perspectives and experiences on sex that needed to be stripped out of mind and heart so that I could lay bare before my husband without shame, embarrassment, guilt, or shyness.

Indeed, God created sex between a man and a wife with a specific purpose in mind. A purpose far greater than anything I had ever thought, been told, or had seen. If sex was started in God’s wild imagination than I wanted to know how He saw it!

After being married one year, I can definitely agree with my mom, “There is more to marriage than just sex.” However, I am making new discoveries everyday of the Grand purpose God had in mind when He created sex. The power it has to heal, restore, unite, and beautify a marriage is beyond what I ever imagined.

Now that I am married this is one of the biggest lessons I am learning  : Sex is worth taking seriously! 

Whether you are married or not… What are some false perceptions you have of sex? How do you need God to help you see it His way?

To - Do #20: Practice the Art of Little Things

I had just come home from grocery shopping and like any usual day my  husband was still working at his desk {aka: our kitchen table :) }  However, in a matter of minutes, passionate love started to blossom...  right there in the middle of the day!

My husband had managed to turn routine into romance! Normal into notable! And the everyday into exciting!

Please join me over at this community today to read the rest! 

 

What ways do you surprise your husband or fiance? It doesn't take much! The most  simple and effortless acts of love are most often the ones that bring  the most joy in marriage!

To-Do #19: Learn Some Sexy Art :)

  

Have you ever thought of sex as an art? 

I admit, in the first few months of marriage, sex felt more like peculiar routine of gymnastic moves, than an enchanting work of art! Our newly-wed experience led us to the do the same set of moves

every

single

night.

We soon realized a few days into marriage that few books we had read on sex prior to our wedding were definitely for couples who were far more experienced than us! But despite that fact, we were practicing and having fun perfecting our skills! 

Now that we are approaching one year of marriage, I feel as though we are only beginning to un-wrap this beautiful gift of sex that God has given us in marriage. Rather than sticking by the books, we are slowly learning to color outside the lines, and create our own unique masterpiece together.  {Eeekkk! It’s taking plenty of practice and confidence on my part!}

 

Sex is becoming more than just our responsibility as a married couple to one another. It is also more than just a time to simply get our needs met. How boring!  

Rather than sex starting between the sheets, we are discovering it starts in our hearts. Within the safety and love of marriage, we are free to be ourselves and get creative at expressing our love to one another!  Now that’s real fun!

Together, as a couple, we are spilling paint, using wild colors, and mixing things up to create a stunning masterpiece with our marriage!

We may only be going into one year of marriage, but twenty years from now we still want to be practicing and crafting our skills ;) Like artists who can’t wait to get away from the busyness of life, my husband and I are learning to anticipate being alone together so we can continue making our marriage a work of art.  

I know all this artsy talk might sound silly... But let me explain.   

Artists brood over their blank canvas. Sometimes they sit quietly to let their ideas come to life, other times they splatter paint, or experiment with ingredients, unafraid of making mistakes.  Deep in their heart an artist understands this: They will never become great at what they do, unless they get alone with their paintbrush, camera, journal, or guitar, and invest time into their creation.  

Inspired artwork, such as a beautiful song, well-choreographed dance, an awe-inspiring photo, or an eloquent painting is like a looking glass, with the ability to reach into the depths of the human heart.

Sadly, in marriage, we often rush through our time together as a couple so we can just “get ‘er done!”  In light of our busy lives, we forget that God created sex as a place for husband and wife to unlock the mysteries of one another’s hearts and to touch each other…more than just physically. 

There is so much more room for God-inspired, heaven-revealed creativity in marriage, especially behind the door of the bedroom! A husband and wife we are a living testimony to God’s intense love and desire for His Bride. Therefore, marriage is anything but humdrum or wearisome! 

Are creativity, passion, and originality the last things on our mind when it comes to sex?  

Are you fearful of trying something new?

Have you gotten in a routine after 20 plus years of marriage?

Has sex just become something you have to do, or is it truly a work of art you get to create together? 

Are you in need of some new colors and ideas in your creative time with your spouse? 

Take it from a newlywed woman… It’s time to grab your honey and get alone together! Connect your hearts. Listen to each other. Freely discuss together what you desire paint with your marriage. Be open to God’s creativity in the way you express your love to one another. Enjoy practicing sex as if it were your honeymoon, even though you may think you know the drill!

Now, get busy! Make it practical if you know what I mean ;) Have fun creating an extraordinary masterpiece out of your marriage- in and out of the bedroom!  

To Do #18: Choose Joy Over Plaque:)

Rolling around in my head lately is this little phrase, “It’s just easier to be happy!”


Unfortunately, after nearly one year of marriage I have had to learn the truth of this statement the hard way. I have spent hours and days letting my emotions control me and my reactions towards my husband. 

As I think back over the past year of marriage my mind fills with images of ruined dates, and the grudges I held against my husband while on long grueling car rides. I remember the nights we went to bed sleeping as far away from each other as we could get in our little double bed. I reflect on the moments of immaturity when I stomped out of rooms on him or refused to hug him for a whole day.

All of these moments are painful, shameful, and not to mention, just plain miserable!  I am held captive by my wounded heart. Life stops. I refuse to move on until I feel like my husband has been adequately punished for the way he has treated me.

In these moments I always think he is the one suffering. Wrong!  My grudges, unforgiving heart, and anger only make me suffer! I am sure you know the feeling?

We think we can go on with life, work, and our relationships, but if things are not right with hubby, let’s just be honest, everything is tainted! Our thoughts are consumed with anger. Our eyes are red from crying. The worry creases across our foreheads are more evident. Life seems to come to a standstill. It doesn’t make us beautiful, nor is it fun to let our emotions get the best of us.


Thus the reason I have adopted my new marriage motto, “It’s just easier to be happy!” 

Marriage provides 24/7 opportunities for us to put this little statement to the test! Take for instance this morning...

After we were done eating breakfast, my husband looked at me with a suspicious gaze. He pulled my face close to his, and instead of coming in for a kiss, he inspected my teeth!  Appalled, he explained I had food stuck between every crack and crevice of my pearly whites. I couldn’t believe it! I shrugged it off as no big deal, knowing that I was about to go brush my teeth anyways, but deep down I felt hurt. {Yep, it’s really that easy to feel hurt in marriage!}

As I marched up the stairs to check out the situation, I felt slightly embarrassed that I had disgusted my husband.  I smiled in the mirror and saw exactly what he was talking about, it was true. After a thorough brush and floss, my teeth had gained back their glimmering glow. It felt good to be clean. But even more important, it felt good to be happy!

My husband’s honesty could have provoked me to anger and frustration. {It nearly did!} I could have held onto his remark and let it fester into a lie that he is a mean and unloving husband. {Even though I regularly tell him about the crumbs in the corner of his mouth or his bad breath.}  But instead, I saw through his disgust to his heart. I was thankful that he loved me enough to tell me the truth.

My march to the mirror, revealed the truth, just like marriage reveals what’s really in my heart. We are forced to come face to face with the reality- who are we and where is the plaque in our lives?

When I see ugly plaque staring back at me in the mirror, I don’t just leave it there. I do something about it! With a smile on my face I go to work taking out the buildup of food and who knows what else!

However in marriage, I most often have been known to do just the opposite. I get angry about what I see, I don’t smile, and meanwhile I let hurts and frustrations build up inside of me.

Being married gives us daily opportunities to become a better person. But in order for that to happen we must put a smile on our face. We must march up to that mirror and…

choose joy.

Everything from insignificant disagreements to a full-on war can be seen as an opportunity to grow into the wife we are called to be. But it only happens when we make a decision to not let our emotions get the last word.

Choosing joy in our marriage means that we realize it’s easier to be happy. The sun shines a little brighter. We feel a little prettier. Our husbands seem a little bit sweeter.

So next time your husband or fiance brings up some plaque in your life. Take it as an opportunity to become a more beautiful wife! With a smile on your face, choose joy.

Married life is just easier that way anyways!